photo by Lara Herscovitch
One of the exercises in CLP is about identifying and clarifying our own personal values. We each identify our top 5 values, writing one each on 5 index cards. Then we have to drop one… and another… until we are forced to choose our number 1, top value. What is your current One right now and why?
It’s still belonging for me. Always was, too. 100%.
I lived in Brooklyn from first through fourth grade. I can still recall pleading with my mom to stay up until 9:00 p.m. to just hear the song. “Then, I will go to bed. I promise,” I would often say.
When I was growing up I didn’t like cartoons much. They didn’t do it for me. I did, however, like the theme song to the television sitcom, Cheers, and Lord knows, I just loved Fred Rogers. Both of the theme songs can still bring tears to my eyes.
Sing with me: “sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name….dun, dun, dun, dun… and they’re always glad you came….” Or, “It’s such a good feeling to know you’re alive, it’s such a happy feeling, you’re growing inside” and, “I have always wanted to have a neighbor just like you…” The sentiments expressed make me feel so good.
I’ve always wanted to belong; I came here wanting to find neighbors just like you.
What is one big, burning question you are wrestling with these days?
In the song, “Black and Blue,” Carmen McRae sings:
“What did I do to be so black and blue?
I’m hurt inside, but that don’t help my case
Cause I can’t hide what is on my face
How does it end? Ain’t got a friend
My only sin is in my skin
What did I do to be so black and blue?
Tell me, what did I do?
What did I do? What did I do?”
I’m asking a lot… how do we repair generational hurt?
What inspires you, gives you hope these days?
Sometimes I move too quickly and I miss seeing in full beautiful things. In these moving-so-quick-oh-God-I-have-fire-in-my-hair moments, I might, only in my periphery, see the richness of what’s out there.
But when I slow enough to see things in their fullness. Goodness – it’s a complete revelation. My energy is lifted, my demeanor changes. I feel more positive. Buoyant. Grateful.
I am most hopeful when I am settled enough to look at something, especially in nature, in full. Eyes 100% engaged, engrossed in every aspect. I dare to dream about the impact beauty can have on changing our perception. What impact could it make on mindset if more and more people of each second of the day found an increasing measure of joy or hope as a result of seeing something beautiful? My guess is that all of our moments would stretch into longer periods of contentedness making an impact on the collective: inevitably changing vibration and encouraging more good.
Slowing down to beauty… yup, brings me hope.
This work of transformational change is hard. Stepping in, stepping up, over time, can be draining – physically, intellectually, emotionally, psychically, spiritually. How do you recharge, restore, take care of yourself, rekindle your fire?
I make friends with my naturopathic doctors. What respect I have for their way of teaching, being, and knowing. I learned from one something about myself that was so transformational.
In one session, I found myself talking to her about my own self in a very punitive way. There I was downing myself for trying this new thing and then that one. The problem to me was that I wasn’t a sticker. I didn’t stick and complete.
But guess what she said: “Brandon, you are a seeker.”
Man, that changed my life. What a different way to frame my desire. Still, it helps me to imagine myself like a bee driven to flit and land on different flowers for the nectars they offer. Lately, I have been trying to practice seeing myself not giving up on things but understanding that it’s okay to move on when I’ve gotten what I needed.
Rekindling for me, these days, means tending to my mind so that I am more loving and generous to myself.
It means believing I am doing the best that I can.
Rekindling shows up in some gardening, ukulele, reiki… you know, here and there.
Introduce us to someone who inspires you, who shaped (or shapes) you and how you view leadership and possibility for a better community/world?
One of my most favorite authors is Pearl Cleage. She does fantastic things – writes plays, nonfiction, novels… If there are any die-hard Pearl lovers out there, I want you to know that my love for her work goes deep – I knew of her way before Oprah brought her more (much deserved) notoriety when she featured What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day on her book club. So, hah, just saying.
But, really, I had the pleasure of interviewing her years ago as I trudged through writing a dissertation I hoped could add value to my own life. I sat across from her – both of us with our very short cropped natural hair – and felt not just that we were kindred but like the “free” women she wrote about in her play, Flyin’ West. She created black women characters who understood they had a right to personal, financial, and emotional freedom. They were simultaneously courageous and in-community in their quest to attain it.
Often times I am reminded of that winter day conversation and grateful to have been able to hear her speak about her approach to living and writing. Our conversation about her work and those characters of hers whom I have grown to love, embolden me to seek freedom on the daily… and to find people to do it with.
What do you recommend to us, in each of these categories:
- Reading – While snuggling. Just finished Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng and am doing a read aloud with my youngest daughter. We are reading Raymie Nightingale by Kate Dicamillo.
- Listening – While cooking. My favorite podcast: On Being with Krista Tippett
- Eating – It’s a tie: The salmon and cream cheese omelet with capers (go for extra cream cheese) or the Jonah’s plate with an Arepa instead of toast. Both on the menu at Manjares in Westville.
- Watching – With high hopes: Ukulele tutorials
- Laughing – Unawares: Do it without reservation
- Wildcard – Favorite oil for black natural hair: Amla
To get in touch with Brandon directly: bqueenleigh@gmail.com