photo by Chion Wolf / WNPR

One of the exercises in CLP is about identifying and clarifying our own personal values. We each identify our top 5 values, writing one each on 5 index cards. Then we have to drop one… and another… until we are forced to choose our number 1, top value. What is your current One right now and why?

Universal love, because I’m a Christian and therefore don’t have a choice – and because I continue to believe that it is the only thing that can transform the world. People regularly tell me that this is impractical. But how do we know? We’ve never tried it. Furthermore, nothing else has worked.

What is one big, burning leadership question you are wrestling with these days?

Focus. I’m part of a resistance group: Together We Rise CT. That’s where a lot of my time goes these days. But I need to keep the hours in control, because that’s pro bono and I’m self-employed. If I’m not billing, the Shaddoxes are not eating.

If you are resisting the Trump agenda, where do you start? And more to the point: Where do you stop? He’ll probably do three outrageously evil and illegal things before dinner today. I don’t have time to clean up each of those messes.

We’ve been going with what the more active members of the group feel most passionately about and where we see there is an opportunity to have an effect. A lot of our concentration now is providing direct assistance to immigrants while also working for policy change. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t be concerned about the rollback of environmental regulations, the proposed tax code that makes being rich even sweeter than it is now, the constant sabre rattling. I’m incensed about all those things.

This is a big problem for anyone who cares about justice. The rapid fire coming out of the White House can easily make us run in circles, burn out, or both.

What inspires you, gives you hope these days?

I have never seen so many people willing to do something – even if it’s just making a couple of calls or sending an email. Trump has inspired true civic participation. Pete Seeger said: “Participation is going to save the human race.” Who am I to argue with Pete Seeger?

If we can manage to survive this administration without becoming a fascist dictatorship or blowing up the world – then we’ll be a better country than we were pre-Trump.

This work of transformational change is hard. Stepping in, stepping up, over time, can be draining – physically, intellectually, emotionally, psychically, spiritually. How do you recharge, restore, take care of yourself, rekindle your fire?

There have been times when the fire has been pretty low over the past year. I’ve tried to take care of myself spiritually. I started doing one-on-one spiritual direction, which is kind of like therapy for the soul. I do Lectio Divina, a scriptural reflection, every morning. Last week I started saying the Rosary daily. I crave prayer.

When I was very active in juvenile justice, I remember promising myself that I would go on retreat when we passed legislation to get kids out of adult court. We did that in 2007, and I hadn’t gone on that retreat ten years later. Money and time – never enough of either. I finally went in November of 2017. I knew I’d never make it through Trump’s first year otherwise.

Also one of the great glories of working at home is that there are always dogs around. Usually the needier one is lying on my foot or somehow touching me as I work. That’s enormously comforting. All day long I get a tactile message: You are loved.

Introduce us to someone you are/were close with personally (e.g., family, teacher, friend, mentor), who shaped (or shapes) you and how you view leadership and possibility for a better community/world?

My Uncle Charlie saved my life. He was my father’s sister’s husband, an Italian-American. My dad was a horrible bigot. He refused to go to my aunt and uncle’s wedding because he objected to her marrying an Italian. Throughout my life, I saw him demean Charlie. This was a great lesson for me about prejudice. It was always clear to me that Charlie was the nicest adult in the family, so I assumed all my Dad’s pronouncements about ethnicity, race and religion to be wrong.

When Dad managed to get himself fired, Uncle Charlie and Aunt Kathryn showed up with a trunk full of groceries. Whenever Dad landed in the hospital, it was the same thing. And they did it with such kindness, never holding it over him in any way. That was the real generosity of the thing – the way they did it.

I spent a lot of time at Uncle Charlie’s house. My own was chaotic and frequently unsafe. I always knew that I could count on his protection. He was the most enormously loving and unselfish man. He was a welder by day and musician by night. When his younger son wanted a guitar, Charlie pawned his own sax to get it for him. He could not stop giving people things. I’ve got a first pressing of Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue, that he gave me when I discovered Miles. No occasion in particular – and he gave me this rare album of his that jazz aficionados would pay a boatload to get.

There were never any hurdles you had to jump to qualify for Charlie’s love. I remember my senior year of college I was disappointed that I did not make valedictorian. My mother and aunt kept naming accomplishments to make me feel better. But you still won the creative writing award. But you did it all while you were working almost full-time. And so on. Charlie let this go on for a while and then said: You’re still my favorite niece.

That was him.

Charlie never ran for office or was active in civic affairs in any way. He loved without reserve, transcended ego, forgave lavishly and put the needs of others before his own. And by doing so, he showed what was possible. I think that’s what great leaders do – they show you a better possibility. Charlie was my first better possibility.

What do you recommend to us, in each of these categories:
  • Reading – Burmese Days. When you’re in high school, you get assigned George Orwell’s worst books for some reason. So no one ends up reading this excellent autobiographical novel based on his time as a police officer in Burma. I love it because you focus on how toxic oppression is for the oppressor. That’s tremendously important to me. I pray for Donald Trump. I pray for Paul Ryan. And this is really a selfish act, because I’m mainly trying to cultivate my own compassion. I cannot stoop to hating them. Dr. King taught that we needed to convert – not defeat – the oppressor to build the beloved community. I absolutely believe that.
  • Listening – Miles Davis, Kind of Blue, for Charlie
  • Eating – Egg and pepper sandwiches, also for Charlie
  • Watching – Schitt’s Creek (on Netflix)
  • Laughing – Roll around on the ground with a dog until you start.
  • Wildcard – Comfortable shoes. Life hurts in many ways that you can’t do a thing about; there’s no need to compound it by pinching your toes.

Learn more about Together We Rise CT

To get in touch with Colleen directly: colleen@qsilver.com

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