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One of the exercises in CLP is about identifying and clarifying our personal values. We each identify our top five values, writing one each on five index cards. Then we have to drop one, and another… until we are left holding the card with our number one, top value. What is your current One right now and why?
What’s coming up for me right now, is empathy.
Both for myself and my outward perception of the world, what I’m trying to work on is rooted in empathy and trying to have grace for myself. Empathy for myself is something that I haven’t quite done in the past.
I was raised with caregivers. They would give so much of themselves to caregiving and support, and be in service of their family, friends, and others in general. But I think they didn’t take the time to take care of themselves and replenish, and develop those patterns in a way that I could point to.
So as an adult now, I’m starting to recognize that and learn that I need to give myself some empathy and care, so that I can replenish and show up for spaces and show up for the world in a more holistic way that just feels authentic to myself.
I really appreciate that, thank you for sharing. What is one big, burning leadership question you are wrestling with these days?
When to let go. I think oftentimes I’ve struggled with when to let go of certain things, it’s something that I want to develop as a leader. For me, I feel it’s rooted in a desire to feel accepted and not letting others down.
And I realized that life is messy. Life is not perfect, is not polished. We could try to make it that, but the reality is that that’s just not how things actually work. And I’m coming to appreciate that messiness. Moreso as I grow and develop, because I realize it’s the process that’s the journey, right? Not the end product. I’ve been really caught up with making sure that the end product is perfect, and not enjoying the journey, the conversations and the connection.
In many ways, it’s like my journey now is trying to reconnect with myself, with my humanity, with my senses, in a way that makes me appreciate that process and journey. Because I think that’s where the learnings actually are.
So I’m learning to let go and shed those expectations more, and allowing myself to just be in the mess and enjoy it. Just roll around in it and allow others to embrace it as well, let go of those same insecurities that keep us from just enjoying the mess, being in it and being okay with not knowing. And allowing room for discovery.
That’s where I want to develop more in terms of my leadership, how I show up and have an impact in the relationships and the spaces I operate in.
It reminds me of the difference between real life leading up to a gorgeous social media post, and seeing that post alone, without that bigger context.
Yeah, exactly, that’s a great metaphor. That’s how I don’t post anything online sometimes ’cause I’m just like, “It’s work. I have to shape it. I can’t just put it up in this raw form,” you know?
Absolutely — and why I want to take down some of the ones that feel too messy. What would you say inspires you, gives you hope these days?
That’s a really good question. I feel like there’s so many things that I have to worry about, that are out of my control. In terms of bigger forces that are moving society in this direction or that direction. Whether it’s climate change, or the political environment, the advent of AI.
All of these things feel like I’m perpetually… in this stressed-out space. So it’s challenging to find a good answer.
I totally hear you.
But what gives me hope is finding others that are, despite all this, creating unique experiences.
I find joy and inspiration in people in not just the arts, the visual arts, or design, but in other disciplines that have unlocked their creative potential as well, and are finding novel solutions.
I’ve always been an interdisciplinary thinker, so I like to get inspired by people in other fields. I like to look elsewhere and see how other people are tinkering and developing new concepts and ideas, and I think it’s when you start to mix all of those things together that really gets me excited about the future, about creating new possibilities of seeing, of making, of generating ideas and collaborations.
So beautiful, all the ways we can inspire each other.
Yeah, there’s so many interesting people, both that I know and people I follow online, that are artists in their own unique way, but they’re in a completely different field. And I get excited by the possibility of working with people in different spaces and creating new ways or new forms that just shed light on what’s possible.
I often feel we get caught up in the status quo of what’s acceptable and not acceptable. But all these things came to be because someone at some point challenged the norms, and now this has become the norm, right?
We have to realize, society’s always changing, we’re constantly evolving, and if we don’t evolve and make new forms, new artifacts, new ways of working, whatever it may be, that we’re going to stay stagnant. So the truth is, we constantly have to change and operate in this creative space. Because stagnant is, at least in my experience, it’s not an option.
And it’s definitely not an option anymore if we consider what I mentioned in the beginning, which is all these larger forces that are out of our control — climate change, politics, AI. If we don’t think ahead, we’re just going to get washed up into it.
Amen. And related to that theme, this work of transformational change can be hard. Stepping in, stepping up, over time, can be draining — physically, intellectually, emotionally, psychically, spiritually. How do you recharge, restore, take care of yourself, rekindle your fire?
Great question and, you know, it’s something that I’m constantly evolving and trying to discover and rediscover. I find my trajectory right now is leading me towards looking and paying more attention to the practices that my grandma used to have.
My grandma lived with us in California. She came from Chile. She’s a second mother to me, she helped raise me. As a child I didn’t quite understand her patterns, but she had simple things. She prioritized spending quality time with family, chatting and socializing over some tea and snacks.
I realized that part of the replenishing sometimes is just socializing and sitting down with friends and family to catch up and talk about life and whatever’s on our minds.
I don’t think I’ve done that enough. I’ve been distracted by life, by work, by the grind. And expectations that I’ve been taught to put on myself. So I’m leaning more into that, I want to do more of that.
Would you please introduce us to someone you are/were close with personally (e.g., family, teacher, friend, mentor), who shaped (or shapes) you and how you view leadership and possibility for a better community/world?
There’s so many that come to mind. And I’m digging in the past right now, ‘cause I feel those were formative years for me.
I think I’m gonna go with my basketball coach, Mark Lazareth. I’ve been playing since I was a little kid. I don’t play as much now as an adult. I do need to make time for things like this, but my body’s not in the same place!
But I remember my parents would always sign me up for the North Hollywood Rec Center in L.A., where I grew up. We would have tryouts for basketball, and he always kept picking me every season. I’d be surprised ’cause he was probably the best coach there, and I wasn’t necessarily the best player.
What I appreciated is that he saw potential in me. That was really special for me to experience as a young kid, growing up in L.A., in an immigrant family. He was Greek, and the park itself attracted a diverse range of athletes of all ethnic, racial backgrounds.
He was the type of coach that just knew how to talk to young boys. He’s seen it all, you know? So he’s more than just a coach. He was a life mentor.
He really made me believe in what I can do. And even though this is a sport, it’s more than that. Even though basketball is competitive, it’s also about working with your team to achieve a goal. Working with other people, it’s important that we understand the strength of others, and we lean into that, and we support them, put them in the right position to succeed.
It’s unlocked me in ways that I can be a supportive figure in a group environment. So when I work with people, I try to identify people’s gifts and support them in the process of working together. And I think that there isn’t enough of that.
I really learned in those early years of my life to understand how I can fit into a team and by extension a community, a family, a group of friends, a workplace environment, and not trying to be in a competitive mindset, but more of a collaborative mindset.
He left an impression in my life, and I’ve never forgotten him.
How old were you and how long did you play on his team?
I want to say between 9 and 15. Every year he picked me on his team. And the last year that he picked me, I had finally become a much better basketball player. Unfortunately, that year, I suffered an injury in the league, I dislocated my wrist, so I was done. But, he was amazing.
I also grew up in sports and I listen to sports psychology and leadership books by the nice, loving coaches. I totally agree, it’s about team and interdependence.
Yeah, learning about interpersonal relationships. How to negotiate those boundaries with people. And trust me, I had teammates that would piss me off, right? And vice versa, you would see these dynamics play out, but it’s also a space for conflict resolution. ‘Cause at the end of the day, we still got to work together and be on the court and know how to read each other.
What do you recommend to us, in each of these categories:
- Reading – Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain, by Sharon Begley. A book that dives into the science of meditation. Some of the interesting takes is the understanding of neuroplasticity and how behavioral patterns that we think are permanent are, in fact, not permanent. We still have the ability to literally change our minds, to reprogram the mind to a different state. I just see it as a great tool. I went to a Zen center, here in New Haven. And when I walked in, a nice individual greeted me, and handed me the book like, “here, take it.” It sat there in my library for a while, and then I started reading it before bed and I was so fascinated. There are so many rich stories in it.
- Listening – There’s this great YouTube channel, Humano Studios. They invite different DJs to play music from all over the world. And they come to this venue, wherever this person is set up, and they usually play for about an hour, hour and a half, they’re all spinning vinyl. Some of the music that I hear is just so funky and cool, I really appreciate being able to see the DJ — it’s amazing.
- Eating – More turmeric, because it’s an anti-inflammatory. And I like to add black pepper to it to increase its absorption. I love it for its medicinal benefits. So much of the food we eat, especially in the American food system, the cooking oils, everything is just so inflammatory to the body. Eating and consuming more turmeric really helps offset a lot of that.
- Watching – The Latino and Native American Film Festival, here in New Haven. I recommend people watch more indie films. These were short films, like 20 minutes, but wow. The amount of storytellers and the content, the subject matter that they cover. They share all the submissions, I think 600 films local and international, for about three weeks during the festival.
- Laughing – I do this around people I trust. Bruni’s been subjected to this, but it makes her laugh, and it makes me laugh when she’s laughing. Sometimes just dance really silly, in weird ways, just random body movements. No rhyme or logic to it. Letting loose, letting our bodies just be silly, I think it’s hilarious. So, I would say, let your body be silly and do silly movements in front of someone you trust.
- Wildcard – your choice – Learn a dance you don’t know. You can tell there’s a theme here. I’m wanting to reconnect with my body and have it be more part of my practice.
Interview with The Circle creative director & editor Lara Herscovitch. To reach Lara directly: thecircle@clpnewhaven.org or Lara@LaraHerscovitch.com
Learn more about Daniel at For La Diaspora’s website, YouTube or Instagram
Get in touch with Daniel directly: daniel@forladiaspora.studio