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One of the exercises in CLP is about identifying and clarifying our personal values. We each identify our top five values, writing one each on five index cards. Then we have to drop one, and another… until we are left holding the card with our number one, top value. What is your current One right now and why?

This is one of my favorite CLP exercises and one that continues to guide my leadership principles. My top personal value back in 2009 was – and remains – love. I find the call to leadership one of love: love of other, love of service, love of mission, love of community, love of opportunity, and more. Whenever I have a challenging conversation or something in my work (or life) that invites fear, I remind myself to lead with love as well as humility.

What is one big, burning leadership question you are wrestling with these days?

The biggest burning leadership questions for me right now center around how to feel like I am enough and my work in the community is enough given all of the injustices in New Haven and in the world.

I wrestle with the challenging – and what sometimes feel like superhuman – demands of non-profit leadership. I wonder whether non-profits actually do what they are intended to do in the community, or whether they – and I – perpetuate inequity. I struggle with the seemingly intractable dynamics of power and privilege that pervade fundraising. I worry that my efforts to build a truly inclusive organization that creates safety and talks through challenges are riddled with blind spots. I wonder whether I will ever be of the community enough to feel – and truly be – authentic and to lead with the love that brought me to this work in the first place.

But those questions ultimately take me back to CLP and to Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet, which Heidi Brooks introduced to my cohort and me at some point along our CLP journey:

“…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves… Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer…”

I try, every day, to live into the questions with love and with patience, and to not let the search for answers overpower my very positive experience of daily work and my sense of what is possible.

What inspires you, gives you hope these days?

My hope stems from a deep belief that love is central to humanity. I believe that we all, at our core, want to love and be loved and that we all care deeply for ourselves, for our loved ones, for those with whom we connect readily, for those from whom we are different, for those we will never meet, as well as for our communities and planet. I believe that if we work to counteract the things that get in the way, love will reign supreme.

More concretely, I find hope in nature. I find hope in connection. I find hope in learning. I find hope in pushing through fear. I find hope in community. I find hope in vulnerability. I find hope in stillness. And. So. Much. More…

This work of transformational change is hard. Stepping in, stepping up, over time, can be draining – physically, intellectually, emotionally, psychically, spiritually. How do you recharge, restore, take care of yourself, rekindle your fire?

I have always been an athlete and the daily practice of movement is really important to me in terms of creating space, establishing consistency, managing stress, and tuning in to my breath, my body, my thoughts, and my heart. Similarly, good healthy food and enough sleep keep me centered.

I also find great joy in family. My boys are a daily delight and a powerful reminder of the importance of presence, laughter, joy, and love. Their light and their lightness invite me to be my fullest self and also remind me of my priorities.

And finally, the practice of appreciation really grounds me. At Squash Haven, whenever there is an important departure, milestone, or sometimes just when we need to connect, each staff person publicly shares an appreciation about their colleagues’ work. It is also less formally just part of our culture, and I find it so powerful and affirming. I am working on self-appreciation as I am increasingly aware of the fact that I am often my harshest critic. The work of self-appreciation can come in the form of meditation or simply acknowledging to myself five things I have done each day that make me proud.

Introduce us to someone you are/were close with personally (e.g., family, teacher, friend, mentor), who shaped (or shapes) you and how you view leadership and possibility for a better community/world?

I didn’t grow up with one inspirational mentor, a particular sense of what I wanted to do in the world, or a sense of myself as a leader.

I found myself in communities I cared about, beginning with sports teams, and my leadership really stemmed from wanting to thrive within them and support the others around me to thrive. Over time, and with experience, my leadership became about wanting to strengthen – and ultimately build – communities so that they empower people to feel like their fullest selves and to work together to be more than they were as individuals. As often as not, I think my leadership was informed as much by what people were not talking about as by what they were, and by the things I didn’t like about the leaders I saw in addition to what I liked. I tried – and continue to try – to create spaces and conversations that will move people forward.

Right now, I am particularly grateful for the handful of deeply trusted colleagues and friends who I talk to about my biggest questions. There is so much that I don’t know, and my strength to lead in the face of uncertainty often comes from talking through my questions.

With that said, I can introduce you to a few folks to whom I owe a significant debt of gratitude:

  • Winifred Gilliford, my first tennis coach, overcame spina bifida as a child to become the first female head tennis professional in the Philadelphia area. She modeled being a ceiling breaking woman and she also taught me the importance of doing the simple things right.
  • Tom Costley leads an adventure travel company, where he hired me to be a trip leader for kids. He gave me a chance when I knew nothing about working with kids or the outdoors. As a trip leader for six summers, I was introduced to the power of circles and shared reflection as a leadership tool.
  • Dave Johnson was my counterpart as the Men’s Tennis and Squash Coach at Williams College. He helped me realize the importance of time, thoughtfulness, and trust when it comes to building relationships that empower individuals and groups of people. He helped my 22-year-old self find my leadership voice and become a relationship-focused leader.
  • Greg Zaff is founder of squash and education programs in the United States and the reason I moved to New Haven. I am inspired by Greg for many reasons, but among them is that he is the first leader I met who regularly – and repeatedly – talks about love.
What do you recommend to us, in each of these categories:
  • Reading – Americanah by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I am nearly finished and it is so beautifully written and so rich.
  • Listening – Trying to commit to meditation through the 10% Happier App. I like listening to people talk about meditation and I like reading about meditation. But getting myself to sit down and commit, now that is another story I am working to rewrite.
  • Eating – I love a good kale salad with avocado, sardines, and roasted pumpkin seeds. Otherwise, one of our fun family pandemic traditions has been to make homemade pizza most weekends.
  • Watching – I don’t do a whole lot of watching except with my husband. We are watching Succession, but I may need to stop because I need to believe in goodness.
  • Laughing – My twin six-and-a-half-year-old sons Dylan and Rory. Pretty much most of the time.
  • Wildcard – Riding a bike – not for exercise but just to get somewhere slowly. It reminds me to play.

Learn more about Julie at Squash Haven’s website and Instagram page

Get in touch with Julie directly: Julie.a.greenwood@gmail.com

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