photo by Rachel Liu Ballard

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” -Howard Thurman

This quote by Howard Thurman has served as a guiding light since I found it as an adult many years ago. As a young person I had internalized a philosophy that one must sacrifice oneself to the movement of justice and liberation in order for one’s life to have meaning, purpose and, more importantly, to create the change needed for all people and beings to be free. Unfortunately, this also meant to me that if I wasn’t doing this, then my life had no purpose or meaning and I was simply taking up space or worse, contributing to a system of oppression. It also led to feeling that my needs didn’t matter and that the needs of others outside of, or separate from me, were infinitely more important. These internalized notions led to much suffering in me.

When I found the quote by Howard Thurman, something unfolded in my heart. It was as if I could admit that the full awakening of myself as a person is the very thing that’s needed to bring about the kind of world that I am seeking. And that the world would support this in a deep and personally relevant way shook something deep within. I knew that I cared about people and would always work towards our collective liberation. It was just such a clear statement that my own liberation was integral and intertwined with the liberation of others.

Up until this point, my journey for this kind of liberation and awakening was very personal, internal and intimate. That it could be open and expressed in the clear light of the day and find community was and still is a wonder and gift to me. Though I have internalized notions of there being many conditions for belonging and have crafted so many masks to hide behind, I have also been learning over time to shed them in favor of a more honest, courageous life. As I welcome that quote and have learned more of Howard Thurman’s life, the walking of this path of awakening and courage is clearer and easier.

One of the ways that I am actualizing this is by sharing my own poetry. Writing poems is something that I have done for years, privately. I have written to my loved ones on special occasions and for myself. I have discovered a long legacy of writers in my ancestry and strive to honor their lives, his and herstories and the blessings and challenges that have come through them to me.  Nature is one of my deepest teachers and my relationship with the divine in and through Nature connects me to this life, its beauty and challenges, to liberation and to navigating the very real sources of oppression and violence that surrounds us as well.

It is in this spirit that I share this craft and gift in public mostly on my website. My most recent poem is “On this grey morning.” I wrote it to play with the notions of perspective, of suffering, of the despair that can be felt within our current political environment and the expansiveness and wonder and movements for liberation that are still here and alive. Even if these places of liberation and hope seem dead, buried or frozen, there is still the warmth of life and community, of our existence and beauty that can create conditions for us to thrive and continue on. To come alive and awake in whatever circumstances we find ourselves in is vital for our liberation. In this way we can be skillful in what we need to build, what we need to take apart, and what we need to simply let go of to rot on its own. It is also a poem to encourage those who hate the Winter season that this time still holds beauty, wonder and nourishment. It just needs skillful interactions and perspectives to remain connected to the expansive beauty of life that also exists in this season.

“On this grey morning” by Enroue Halfkenny

On this grey morning
All seems bleak
All seems dead

Bare branches encased in ice
A slurry of snow coating the earth
Treacherous and slick
Hiding the hard ground

Life seems to have turned on itself

Some retreat and are able to stay inside
Cozy and warm though resentful
Others who have nowhere to go
Are battered
Burying hope
As the Earth is now buried
Such conditions we are all in

Winter is here in its fullness

But look deep
It has more to share

Its song crunches beneath feet
Crackles on branches in the shifting wind
Glistens in translucent magic
Highlighting the shapes and forms of tree limbs, bushes, evergreens
The wonder of icicles drip from everything
Cable wires, gutters and the bottoms of cars
Cold bites the face and tingles fingers and toes
Telling us

I’m here
Don’t run
Feel this too

There’s nowhere else to be

Embrace me too in this season of your life
Take care and stay warm of course
You’ll die otherwise
But don’t hate me
For I am this life too

It’s easy to rail against me
To be worried and afraid
When all seems harsh and unfair

Remember the seeming ease of other seasons
When life appeared abundant
Welcoming

Even then you needed to find your way
You still needed to be free

That hasn’t changed

Just the season
The weather
The conditions that await you
As you live day by day

Find ways to dance and smile
To love and sing
To wonder and connect
To help and get help
To tell your story and to listen to others
To build what is needed
Take down or let rot what is not

Look deep today and you’ll find the warmth you seek

Even in this season of the grey

Learn more about Enroue and read additional writings at his website and blog, or via Instagram or Facebook

Get in touch with Enroue directly: enroue@healingandliberation.com

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