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One of the exercises in CLP is about identifying and clarifying our personal values. We each identify our top five values, writing one each on five index cards. Then we have to drop one, and another… until we are left holding the card with our number one, top value. Did you do that exercise in Cohort 4?
I was in an early cohort and I was relatively young at the time, early 20s. I don’t remember if we did it, and I also don’t even know what my values would have been! [laughing]
Fair enough. [laughing] Ok, if we did the exercise right now, what would your number one top value be, and why?
I keep landing on Perseverance and Hope. Those are the two I hang onto, for different reasons.
They both feel so timely. Can you say more about each?
First, on perseverance or determination; one thing I reflect about in my personal and also professional life, is that good things don’t just happen. People have to act as agents to bring justice and goodness into the world.
I think about determination on a macro level — as far as the work I’ve done and do, building community, impact investing. My career has been very guided by this idea — how can I be an agent on Earth to enact certain goodness I want to see.
I also think about determination in a personal sense, particularly in the past several years. My daughter Gabby is severely disabled. She was born with a rare, neurogenetic disease called Angelman Syndrome.
Upon receiving the news of her diagnosis, we delved into intensive therapy for her. She was doing relatively well, and then about five years ago, she succumbed to another rare brain disease that caused her to go into a coma and lose much of her neurological and physical function. She’s home now, but she’s a very different child, she’s fully dependent.
Determination is this idea of pushing towards the change you want to see. Gabby is so determined — to learn, to do, just to be, to live. She was actually profiled by a rare disease organization, they published a story about her last year.
That leads into hope, too. I’ve always believed that good things are yet still to come. No matter what is going on currently, the next day or the next year will be better. I’m very optimistic, very hopeful — that’s what drives me. I have hope in the goodness of people, in my ability to figure things out, in my family, in my children, in my work.
The work at ConnCORP, where I am now, is all about developing, supporting and restoring a community — honoring what was and is, and bringing to life a vision of what can be. The Dixwell community was amazing — and still is — but there’s been decades of underinvestment. We are working to revive what was before, and create even more infrastructure and hope for future generations.
Hope is a very strong, driving part of me. My family, we have a plaque that says “Believe.” I always believe in the possibility of what is yet to come.
Have both of those core values always been true for you – determination or perseverance and hope?
I would say that the hope, probably yes. Determination has become more apparent, with Gabby’s disease.
Angelman Syndrome is a lifetime disease. It isn’t fatal, but there’s currently no cure; although amazing therapeutics are in various clinical trial phases. These children are non-verbal, they oftentimes have seizures, they may not be able to walk, musculoskeletal issues, things like that.
I was working in the investment office of Choate at the time; I stopped working because I wanted and needed to devote more time to Gabby’s care. I was very Type A about it; five days of therapy every week — this, that, this and this, and she responded well. She was walking, she was talking.
One summer, she was in Oklahoma where I’m from, visiting family. Almost overnight she lost the ability to walk, she was looking really dazed. We realized she was having this autoimmune reaction, later we found out it was Acute Disseminating Encephamyeltis.
The first few days in the hospital, I thought, ok, Gabby is a fighter, we’ll get through this. It’s going to be ok. Then she was in the hospital and in a coma for almost a year, and then COVID happened.
My hope, my belief was tested. I always thought, “things work out ok,” you know? And this is something where it really hasn’t worked out ok. I mean, she’s really happy, but she’s not walking, she’s fully dependent.
And so, determination has been more of a recent, maybe last-decade value. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out who’s doing amazing research in Switzerland or wherever, about remyelination… but I hit a wall of my abilities to fix it for her.
My hope and faith and belief were really tested. I learned this term, theodicy – wrestling with how do bad things happen in the midst of a good and all-powerful God. I wondered, ‘Do things really work out? Is God all powerful? How can this innocent child have two major medical crises in her lifetime?
I’m still very hopeful, but my child’s illness has really tested that for me as a person. These past several years, I have become more determined and aware of perseverance.
I’m sending deep empathy for Gabby’s extraordinary medical challenges and journey. Thank you for sharing, and for introducing us to her and your family’s strength. You mentioned faith, does your core value of hope come from a background in religion?
It does. I was born in Detroit, but pretty much raised in Oklahoma. My entire life was in the church — very much born and raised, Southern Baptist. I went with my grandparents every weekend, was there several times a week. My mother and I were baptized Seventh Day Adventists when I was 12.
I definitely had a very, very strong church upbringing, which influenced my belief about hope.
It also influenced my leadership. People always encouraged me to do things; church was where I did my first public speaking, sermons, forums, sitting on a board. I credit much of my leadership back to church. It was my first training ground as a leader.
What is one big, burning leadership question you are wrestling with these days?
Probably what I grapple with most is where — at what vantage point — am I most effective as a leader.
I knew I wanted to change the world. I came to Yale from Oklahoma, I wanted to major in history, go to law school, become a Supreme Court Justice. Very simple life path. [laughing] I really thought I was going to change the world through law.
In college, I worked at this camp called the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp. Started by Paul Newman for children with serious illnesses — HIV and AIDS, cancer, sickle cell and more.
I was there in the year 2000 or something. The kids in the HIV/AIDS sessions were 99% Black and Latino children, from cities – Philly, New York, Baltimore, a lot of them were in foster care or group homes, things like that. At that time of AIDS, it was very different than it is now, a lot of their parents had died.
I remember being so struck, wondering where do these children go back to after this amazing week of camp?
There’s a picture I have on my wall, this little girl named Alexis. The picture is of her and I, and she’s lying on my lap. She had a very hard life, and was unbalanced. Everybody thought she was like a devil on wheels; the counselors were terrified of her. But she loved me, I loved her. She was a perfect angel around me.
That summer, I was very clear — I knew I wanted to make communities better for children like Alexis. I wanted to make communities better so that Black children don’t have to go to camp to escape and receive happiness and joy, safety, food and love.
I look at Alexis’ picture every day.
For my career, first I thought about direct service work, then I thought about going into law; I’ve done policy work and financial work. The last decade plus I’ve been doing investment management, endowment management, looking at capital markets and this idea of how to use financial capital to improve communities. I treasure my role as trustee of the William Caspar Graustein Memorial Fund; I love the role of foundations in supporting community, and am so proud of the work we have done in moving our endowment to more mission-aligned investments, including more women and BIPOC fund managers.
At ConnCORP, it’s my first time in over 15 years doing on-the-ground community work in a place I also live and that is so close to my heart. It’s been the most amazing part of my career, I work with the most incredible people. We work extremely hard and we have so much fun doing it. We laugh every day. I’ve never experienced such joy in the work.
It brings every part of me and all my background and experience. My financial acumen part, my love for community part, I feel like everything I’ve ever learned — I’m bringing it.
It’s challenging as well, because I’m in it. You see everyone at the grocery store, you know the business owners. We see each other at my son’s flag football games. It’s high-stakes because it’s so close and personal, it impacts people I know well, who I go to church with. A lot of people’s hopes and prayers are intertwined with our success.
Before, I worked at a national and international level; policy, institutional investments, venture capital and private equity. Now my work is up close and personal. It’s one thing to go to work in California then fly home; this work is impacting people I know and love.
So, what I grapple with as a leader is where do I fit best. Where can I be most influential? Is it at a community, national, international level? I see all the levers of change. Where am I most useful in this fight or struggle for change?
You reflected earlier about what is challenging your hope; what inspires you and gives you hope these days?
My children give me a lot of hope. Our daughter Gabby and our son Daniel. He’s the sibling of a very disabled child, and that’s unique in itself. My children keep pushing me, making me want to do better and be better.
They’re so resilient, they’re kind and funny, and amazing, and brilliant, and sweet. No matter what I’m feeling, I can see my kid’s faces during the day, it’s the best thing.
And children in general, like Alexis at camp. As I said, I look at her picture every single day. I’m not super-old, I’m 43, but I have so much hope when I hear the self-possession of this generation of young adults. I just think it’s very neat. They are so creative and brilliant, and bold.
Even at Yale, I remember a few years ago, there were some protests about Yale investing in fossil fuels, and about the name of Calhoun College. There was a window depicting slaves at Calhoun, and someone threw a rock through it. I would have never! I would have never thought about throwing a rock and breaking the picture.
Definitely the George Floyd protests and how much change happened in such a short time. I’m so in awe. I don’t think I would have done that at that age.
I’m amazed at the Millennials and Gen Z taking the cultural steering wheel and turning it towards courage and caring values for community and the environment.
They really are. Even what we call “work-life balance,” this assumption about five days a week going to an office and giving 100 hours a week to an organization at the expense of other values. It’s great, their frame that — here are some things that are really working in our society, but these are things that are not good. Being able to call those out, de-humanizing practices, or working 90 hours a week until you’re dead, you know?
Absolutely.
Children in general, young people give me a lot of hope.
As we know, this work of transformational change is hard. Stepping in, stepping up, over time, can be draining – physically, intellectually, emotionally, psychically, spiritually. How do you recharge, restore, take care of yourself, rekindle your fire?
First of all, I don’t do a great job. I take care of a lot of people. And usually, taking care of myself is low on the list.
I do so much in my work life, my civic life, my parenting, there’s always so much to do. Usually from the middle of the night on, my mind is racing about things of the day, or week. I’m a workaholic, I’m always thinking about how to solve the world, how to save the world.
This weekend, my mother told me, “You really need to think about your self-care, doing something, a 10-minute walk, whatever.”
I thought, if I take time for myself, the world will not implode. So I actually just last week, started trying to do meditation. I started reading my Bible, actually, since me and God haven’t been on the exact same page, as I mentioned before. I spend about 30 minutes doing yoga, meditation, just steadying my mind for the day. When I do it, it actually does feel good.
My husband is a work-outer par excellence. He works out every day, he runs marathons. I’m the opposite. I don’t think I would ever get that “high” from working out, but I definitely see that I mentally feel better and sleep better when I do.
So I’ve been trying to take 30 minutes a day to do something — breathing fresh air, slowing down.
A lot of fuel for me is my communities. I have a great family, I love my work colleagues a lot, they’re so brilliant, but also I genuinely like them. I have amazing friends and friendships. They give me a lot of emotional rejuvenation — sharing ideas, talking through things, ranting about something happening in the world. Really special friends who really fuel my spirit and energy and keep me sane.
I also go home to Oklahoma several times a year; it’s where I feel most myself to just recharge.
Is food a part of recharging practices for you?
My husband and children are vegetarian, we do a lot of fresh cooking. I’m probably 90% vegetarian, juicing and all that is a part of our daily life, eating vegetables. But at the same time, I love fruity candy! [laughing] I might have a candy addiction.
I take care of myself emotionally well. But the physical part is where I sometimes need to stop and take that walk before I start working. In the past year, I became more intentional about my health. I felt like I’m getting to an age when I need to really be more mindful about it.
I hear you. I had to cut out ultra-processed sugar, the kind that’s in candy. Lately I’ve noticed that if I eat it, not only does my skin react, but within 24 hours, I’ll be in a terrible mood.
Wow, I appreciate that, that’s a really good point. I actually stopped eating candy for a time, and when I picked it back up my sleep became disjointed again.
Since it’s easier for you to prioritize emotional health, I wonder if it could help to think of physical health as emotional self-care.
I love that, that’s actually really helpful. I was looking lately at some things around brain health, Alzheimer’s and things like that, because my grandmother is suffering from it. Talking and thinking about health in a different way, to help move away from processed food and sedentary lifestyle.
And also stress. Caring for a disabled family member is ridiculously stressful. I am aware of it, the inordinate amount of stress all of the family is under. But as moms we carry it, we do a lot.
I’m working on offering gentleness right now, to myself and others.
I’m so compassionate around other people; this idea of being much more gentle with myself, that’s my big lesson right now. Even this year, new year’s, I thought no — I’m ok, I’m not going to make another ten resolutions. I’m good!
Speaking of emotional health and your communities, would you introduce us to someone you are/were close with personally (e.g., family, teacher, friend, mentor), who shaped (or shapes) you and how you view leadership and possibility for a better community/world?
My family is very, very important in general. The people that were most influential to me were my mother, my grandfather, my grandmother. That’s who raised me. My parents divorced when I was about two years old.
Probably the most influential person for me was my grandfather. He’s passed away now.
He was my best friend. We chatted all the time. He kept me connected to this idea of community, ancestry, and helping people. He would give anything he had – to his church community, his neighbors, let them borrow his car, in his farming town in Oklahoma. He was always so helpful to people.
He’s who I started going to church with. He taught me a lot about kindness, about helping people, and having an obligation to give to people who may have less than you. Also being very approachable no matter what you’re doing, including “helping” – people should still feel very comfortable in your presence.
He was born in the 1920s in the deep South, a Black man. He was a World War II vet, fought and got medals. He always really kept me connected to my family history.
Did he stay in Oklahoma his whole life?
He did! He was born in Arkansas, and they moved to Oklahoma when he was a teenager. He stayed there, in the same small town his entire life, until he died at 92 years old. My grandmother is still alive, she is 95 right now. I’m named after her, Anna.
I think about them a lot, and about ancestors in my family, and Black ancestors in general. What they had to go through, and their perseverance. Particularly persevering when they couldn’t even see the outcome in their lifetime – like things I could do, or my children can do. How they, and we, persevere and build great things for people that may not even be born yet.
Amen. I’m looking forward to our next conversation about your family, diving deeper into it. Does your grandmother live in Oklahoma still?
She does! All my family lives there — my grandmother, my mother, my brother, nieces and nephews, they’re in Oklahoma still. I usually go there several times a year, I just saw her for Christmas and am going again in March.
Was your grandfather alive when you left for Yale?
He was. He died about eight years ago; I was actually able to be back in Oklahoma in his last couple weeks of life, and with him while he took his last breath.
Going to Yale was my first time leaving home. I didn’t ever think I would still be in Connecticut 25 years later. I don’t know where I thought I’d be, but definitely not on the east coast with cold weather!
How did he feel about you leaving Oklahoma for college in the northeast?
My family has always been really supportive of my dreams. Even as a kid, “I want to go to Panama on a mission trip.” “Great idea! Let’s make it happen!” I originally thought I’d go to college in Texas or possibly Stanford. Last minute, I decided to go to Yale. My mother tells me that their reaction was, “Ok, no problem!”
But actually, my grandfather called my mom and said, “How’s she going to make it? She doesn’t know anybody, our little baby can’t go to Connecticut!” They didn’t tell me this, of course. I was this ultra-bookworm, very shy, quiet teenager. So they were internally kind of worried, how’s she gonna handle this – the rough, cold, harsh environment.
All those Yankees up there.
Exactly. I didn’t know about his reaction until maybe a couple of years ago, when my mom told me. To me, they were always nothing but positive and affirming, “you can do it.”
So it seems my grandpa was sad and worried, but he never showed it. And we talked every day. We would watch football games together, I’d be in Connecticut but we’d be watching the same game, and talking on the commercial breaks. We literally talked every day up until he died. Even when we would say goodbye to each other, we would always cry, we’re both emotional.
I just loved him so much. I miss him terribly. But he had an amazing, amazing life.
That’s who has been really influential to me — my grandfather.
What do you recommend to us, in each of these categories:
- Reading – Anything James Baldwin. I read a lot of non-fiction, but I really just love the novel Americanah. I traced my own DNA to Nigeria, I have been there, and was given an igbo name “Amaka” at a Nigerian naming ceremony. The book is about immigration from Nigeria to the U.S., and time, first love, the political background. I just love that book a lot.
- Listening – JAY-Z. I love the way he strings words together; there’s a song called “Song Cry.” And Aretha Franklin; I listen on repeat nearly every day.
- Eating – I love the lamb chops at Cast Iron Chef Chop House and the charcuterie boards at Orchid Hospitality, a part of ConnCORP.
- Watching – I watch every episode of Grey’s Anatomy, I’m a couch medical doctor — I even thought about applying to med school at one point. I love Queen Sugar, about this family in Louisiana that had a sugarcane farm, and their dad died, the siblings were trying to keep the land in the family.
- Laughing – I love to laugh. There’s a show called Abbot Elementary that is hilarious. My current favorite comedian is Nate Bargatze.
- Wildcard – your choice – I love to travel. I love trying new foods, new cultures. So I would say, favorite trips have been Fiji, Nigeria, Paris, and Tokyo.
Interview with The Circle creative director & editor Lara Herscovitch. To reach Lara directly: thecircle@clpnewhaven.org or Lara@LaraHerscovitch.com
Learn more about Anna at LinkedIn or ConnCORP
Get in touch with Anna directly: ajblanding@gmail.com
What a wonderful, deep interview. Anna is on fire with passion in so many directions. Energized and inspired by this human. There’s a Part 2? Oh my.
Thank you for sharing…much love, prayers, and light your way (and family).
Powerful words sister, I’m am inspired by your commitment to a lifestyle of engaging in life with ‘full’ self…beautiful, beautiful, just beautiful!!