photos by Lara Herscovitch; map from Chatham Square Neighborhood Assoc.

Since getting his master’s degree in nonprofit management from Brandeis University 35 years ago, Lee Cruz (Cohort 7) has covered a lot of ground. He has served in roles ranging from volunteer coordinator to executive director, for a wide range of nonprofit organizations: a drop-out program for Hispanic youth, the New Haven-Leon sister city project in Nicaragua, Festival of Arts & Ideas, Ronald McDonald House, Mutual Housing (now Neighborworks New Horizons), and the Community Foundation for Greater New Haven which he joined 13 years ago as senior philanthropic officer. His current position is director of community outreach. This work, he describes, is “connecting nonprofits, leaders and businesses to create social and economic capital in greater New Haven.”

Lee lives with his family in the Fair Haven neighborhood, where he conducts walking tours ranging from an hour to a half-day. We met Wednesday morning at Criscuolo Park to talk about recharging and restoring one’s fire. Because Lee does those things in motion, our conversation was also on the move. He shares his love of community and history as we explore some of the Quinnipiac River Trail Loop (part of the Fair Haven Walking Trails):

How do you generally restore your faith and fire for making the world better?

It’s a connection to place that I have found to be restorative. I grew up in New York City, Puerto Rico, Meriden, then Rhode Island and Massachusetts for my formal education. I never felt rooted, and now I do. I’ve lived in Fair Haven – with the exception of 12 years in Nicaragua, where I maintained a relationship with Fair Haven – almost my entire adult life, going back to 1983. There’s something special about this place. When I was in Nicaragua and thinking about coming back, I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. It was my goal to come back to Fair Haven.

A huge amount of human history is right here. The Quinnipiac people came to the Quinnipiac River to hunt and fish. Then we became agricultural, and here’s this beautiful garden that sustains people. A lot of people don’t realize those tanks over there are part of the U.S. strategic oil reserve, and there’s the highway that connects Miami to Maine. Then we have the wind turbine, which represents a new form of energy; hopefully renewable energy becomes a bigger part of our lives.

For me, that perspective came out of walking and reflection. Self-reflection for me is not only ‘who am I and why am I here,’ but ‘what is the meaning of the things that are around us and how do they fit into the life of myself, my family, my community and the broader world.’

Are there certain activities that help you restore?

Walking, biking, listening to people. I learned contemplative walking from the religious sisters in Nicaragua. I had never thought of it; it’s meditating while walking. What ranks first is solitude and quiet; I get some recharge from introspection and being alone, doing mindless tasks that allow the mind to wander. But it has this tension with actually taking people walking around the neighborhood. There’s an energy that comes from sharing with people this place where I live, that I love, and my belief in the importance of community to contextualize anything that we try to do individually.

Sometimes it is music. Because I grew up with 5 siblings, I can do just about anything while people around me are talking and carrying on. I love the sound of the human voice. I love to hear people sing.

Where do you like to walk for recharging?

Around Criscuolo Park and the Twenty-Ninth Brigade monument. I like to reflect on the meaning of this place – the troops were actually garrisoned on River Street, but Criscuolo Park is where they marched.

I arrived one day and sitting on that bench is a member of one of the local church musical groups, and he’s sitting here playing his tuba, and playing this incredible rendition of When the Saints Go Marching In, in the mist of the morning – it was so powerful. These are the moments that stay with me… I draw on the history that I’ve learned, the stories that I’ve heard from the people who live here now and lived here before I did, and moments like that.

It’s a way of contextualizing the current reality. For me, this is really a place to come to contemplate that I am but one person in one piece of time. And the history that came before is relevant and contextualizes what’s happening now. So what’s happening now in our country, the current reality of the Trumps and so on, is nestled in this division that we have.

There’s also a great 1.4 mile loop that goes up over the Ferry Street Bridge, down Quinnipiac Avenue and into Quinnipiac Park. There’s a point at the apex of the bridge that for me is always an important place to stop and look north. First of all, because it’s so beautiful. You get to watch the bridge up river turn to make way for boats. Barges are made right there; they keep a tremendous amount of traffic off of I-95, so we are a part of that. The Buckeye pipeline fuel is stored here and goes underground to Bradley Airport. You can see the steeple of the church, which was the tallest manmade structure in Connecticut. When the 1869 hurricane happened, down came the steeple. A poem was written to commemorate it and communicate about it. Goodnight Blue Moon, a band whose members live in Fair Haven, wrote a song and made a music video based on the original poem.

Do you ever practice sitting meditation or other specific mindfulness activities?

For me, meditation is in the physical doing, whether it’s walking or doing the dishes. I only sleep about 5-6 hours a night, so if I sit down during the day and close my eyes, I’ll end up taking a nap.

I always try to see something that is unique, unusual, beautiful, and take a moment to take it in. Hopefully there will always be another sunset, but there won’t be that sunset. There will never be this moment again. When you make every effort to live your life un-harried, and take the time to go on walks or bike rides, you can actually capture those. You can be intentional about capturing those moments. So in my mind I have a series of pictures off the top of that bridge, places I can go in thought when I can’t get there. For me, it’s really important to not only have those, but to be able to share them. I think that has value in and of itself, learning to be an observant person. Observe other people, observe your surroundings. It’s a useful skill. But separate from that, it has aesthetic value. It’s valuable because it’s valuable, because it’s beautiful.

Are there other resources you turn to – books, podcasts?

I’m big into podcasts. I’m a self-confessed science and tech geek. Science Friday, Radio Lab, Quirks & Quarks. I also like the Canadian Broadcasting program Ideas and a design podcast called 99 Percent Invisible. I find that in listening to a podcast I can restore my sense of wonder, so in that sense, I think of listening to them as restorative time. I want to expose myself to thoughts and ideas that are not a part of my work with nonprofits, or just Fair Haven, and try to see the relevance back to the local work.

Do you build in time to restore – daily, weekly, monthly – or do you wait for the candle to burn down?

When I was younger and didn’t have kids it was much easier to build in the time – although I still didn’t do it as much as I probably should have. It was easier when I was in Nicaragua; I could intensely work with a bunch of people for a week or two, then close my door for 24 hours, take a day or two off before reconnecting.

When I came back here, I found lo and behold – like most people who live in the U.S. – life is kind of crazy. Initially I tried to fall back into the groove of ‘the way we do things’ in the U.S.: there’s a time to work, there’s a time to play, there’s a time to restore, let me go to the gym – but that doesn’t work for me. And it especially doesn’t work for me now that I have 2 kids under the age of 7. So I fit it in. At work I’ll take the time to go for a walk downtown during lunchtime; I always try to make time to walk. Not just for exercise and not just because I believe it builds safety in my neighborhood, but also to see who I run into. I love running into people and having those casual conversations that you don’t know are going to happen.

Have you ever experienced fatigue or burnout connected to your work?

There are moments when I wonder if I’m adding by sharing these stories with people, walking them around Fair Haven and having them see it. Then I’ll get a personal note that brings me back to why I’m doing what I’m doing. They’re notes of appreciation, affirmation, expressing how important the tour or a personal story was for a physician or a lawyer.

There’s a reason to do the tours, and it’s not an agency or programmatic agenda. It’s an opportunity to help people contextualize the work they’re doing and think more holistically about the humans who are in front of them.

(If you are interested in a walking tour of Fair Haven, pull together a group of 3-20 people and let Lee know what theme you’re interested in. His direct email is lcruz@cfgnh.org.)

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