photo by Lara Herscovitch

My journey into my gifts, my art, and the marriage of the two, continues to unfold in surprising and wonderful ways.

I previously shared on this blog a profound moment – and drawing – of rebirth. I’m a visual person and artist. So, it isn’t uncommon for me to awake from dreams that reveal what my heart and the Spirit of God is drawing me to.

When I was in high school – around fifteen years old – I read a book by Sandra Cisneros, The House on Mango Street. I felt deeply connected to the main character, Esperanza. Like her, I understood what it meant to feel alone, set apart. My heart must have been holding these feelings of loneliness and healing as I went to bed that night, because I dreamt this dream:

A house, a home. An industrial-like building, maybe a refurbished firehouse or garage, with an open floor plan. It was cozy, like you could wrap yourself up in its walls. With shoes off and a cashmere throw, you could sink into the couches reading a good book or sipping on a hot cup of herbal tea. Tucked away in the corner, near the bookcases (which were ceiling-high and covered the wall), was an easel or two. The easels were standing by an open window, waiting for colorful inspiration to fill the blank canvases on them. Paintbrushes were sitting in a clear glass mason jar on the shelf, and acrylic paints were neatly placed alongside. On the opposite wall, there was a long, reclaimed-wood table, waiting for the family meals we would share. Fresh flowers, a bowl of fruit, and votive candles dressed the table. Light, soothing music filled the air. Women were talking in the background. Small groups were forming. Healing was taking place. Freedom was here. This was our sanctuary, our home.

Fast forward twenty years (and some profound spiritual moments and major life events, including the purchase of my first home); I woke in tears realizing that my renovated sunporch-turned art lab was the manifestation of that dream. A dream that I had unknowingly been holding space for was realized. Advocate Lab was born.

I also knew I had a story to tell, but didn’t know how to tell it.

Two years ago, again after another dream, I began telling the story that was urging itself forward. I started with the first two pages. I had no idea how the story would develop, what the title would be, or where the reader would go. I was not sure if I would end up writing it alone, or if I would enlist my creative twin sister, Patrice, to take the reins. So I asked her what she thought.

Like always, her insight was genuine and profound: it was my story. One that I needed to tell in the way that only I was meant to tell it. She reminded me of words I had been urging others to follow: find your voice, share your voice, leave your mark.

I started telling the story first through pictures, then through words. As I journeyed down the road, I found that once the words began to flow, they would not stop. A year after those first two pages emerged, Suddenly, I Found It! was complete. Published by my mother’s publishing company, M. Patrice Group, I was awe-struck and grateful that divine order had orchestrated our steps. Feeling like an observer on the journey, I watched as everything came together with relative ease.

Suddenly, I Found It! really is a parable of my own story. It’s about following your heart, looking for answers in undiscovered places, and daring to go to places internally that you didn’t even know existed. Then suddenly getting it! When we follow our heartstring, there’s no telling where we could end up.

My book’s dedication instructs my three children – Madison, Kingston and Langston – to “Always look for Love.” And this is my same hope for each reader; that they are inspired by Love and never stop looking for it in everything and everyone.

I was (and am) thrilled to be a published author. And, following my own heartstring, I also wanted to do more with it.

I knew I would be going into libraries and schools, sharing the story with people and the inspiration behind writing the book. My goal was to activate young minds and unlock dormant creativity and potential. During these author visits, I ask students to imagine tiptoeing around a puddle, tracing their finger along a constellation, or whispering into a dog’s ear. I ask them to think about a gift they have that they can share. Our gifts are big enough for us and for others. Is it heavy like a rock? Is it light as a feather? Their homework is to go share that gift with others. I remember one little girl saying with enthusiasm, “My smile is my gift. I always give it away.” (Insert heart emoji here and waterfall tears!)

Because I grew up making up little raps with my siblings and dad, the idea to create a rap highlighting the themes from the story emerged. After establishing a beatboxer within each group I’m visiting with, I sing this rap.

I’m digging up the ground and planting suddenly seeds.

Following my string no matter where it leads.

Looking for the gift God made just for me,

Will I find it deep inside? That’s a possibility.

Be patient, take my time

Have fun, use my mind

Be strong, have no fear

It’s ok

To shed a tear

Then suddenly I’ll see

That the gift is you and me!

I’ve also been working with young people to build their own books and discover and share their own stories. It is always a gift to talk to kids and see them dig in.

During these Story Days workshops, I started asking children and adults to respond to the question, “Where do you want your heartstring to lead you?” I thought this was one way for people to continue the story in their own lives. For young readers, I share that someone once told me that we all have a string tied around our hearts. Attached to that string are all things that we love. So, when we see or experience something we love, our heart is pulled in that direction. That’s why sometimes we feel something inside of us move.

Though it sounds like a simple exercise – write your heartstring on a card – it can be profound. Some people have never asked themselves the question. Watching them mull it over and write it down, has been everything to me. Some come to tears, others take a deep breath and muster their courage as they confront their power. To witness someone’s realization that they have something to say, think about their existence in the world, or what they do – is very powerful and inspiring. It is a million gifts all at once and I love it!

I’ve been collecting those index cards, those heart intentions, and have over 200 so far. I’ve been wondering how I can display and share them. It would be so powerful to be able to walk into a space and see nothing but people’s heart intentions surrounding us. This vision is what has inspired Project Heartstring.

Just launched this week, it is another way to put the ball (or string) into people’s – into your – hands. Next year, I am planning an experiential community heART installation – where together we’ll see all the cards lining the walls, and speak them out loud, with whoever is in that room in that moment. I think there’s something very powerful in voice, in sound – something mysterious and supernatural. I think about the power of things I’ve said in my life, and how those things have manifested. I think about my dream at fifteen – a dream I’ve told to those I love multiple times.

It all started with a dream. Now, Project Heartstring will end with thousands of others in the dream room together.

If you’re interested in participating in this heART project, here are the instructions:

  • Find a colorful index card and respond to this question on it: Where do you want your heartstring to lead you? (anonymous, in any language)
  • Place it in an envelope and mail to: Arts Council of Greater New Haven, c/o Project Heartstring, 70 Audubon St, New Haven CT 06510 (you also might see collection jars for the cards at New Haven public libraries, Lotta Studio, and other locations).

I will be beaming when I receive and read it, and it will join hundreds of others, to be viewed and spoken as a part of the heART exhibit in 2020.

Oh! And, if you’re wondering where I want my heartstring to lead me? To this moment, this invitation, this collaboration, this mysterious journey, this dream, alongside you.

Learn more about Advocate Lab

To contact Genese directly: gclark@advocatelab.org

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