photo by Lara Herscovitch
When we get to a certain age – whatever that age is – our life can reveal certain themes. A big one for me is meeting, socializing and working with individuals who don’t see. In the literal sense.
This started when I was eight. My mother told me a family had moved in next door to our house in Milford. They had an eight year-old son; I should go say hello.
Peter was blind. I didn’t realize it in the beginning, because he wore glasses. He has light perception; he doesn’t know what I look like, but he knows whether it’s day or night. He knows if there’s a light on in the room or not. When I met him, we were talking about everything, and he said to me, “I don’t see very well.” That was it. We were friends – we still are. We’ve been friends for 68 years.
He went to Oak Hill School for the blind. It was the late 50’s, and he had to live there. His mom would drive him Sunday night, and pick him up the following Friday. When he got older, he would take the train home with some of the other students who lived in the New Haven area. Although his true crush was on my younger sister, he invited me to his school dances. So I met and spent lots of time with people who were blind.
As an adult, I continued to meet lots of people who were blind. I had a job for about 20 years in the field of audio recording; I recruited, administered and trained volunteers to record textbooks for people who are blind. (Later the company changed its name to Recording for the Blind and Dyslexic, because they found that kids with dyslexia benefitted from following along in the text while they heard someone read the book.) Our volunteers would sit in a soundproof recording booth for two to four hours, recording everything from an elementary school book to cellular and molecular biology to The Old Testament Pseudepigrapha.
Because of this work, I was invited to serve on a number of committees that either represented or served people who are blind, including one at Yale which discussed descriptive audio for Yale Rep, which they do now. Today, as a volunteer, I’m president of the Connecticut Volunteer Services for the Blind & Handicapped. We read books that then go into the Library of Congress for people who are blind to download and listen to in their homes. And I do a lot of related advocacy, speaking to Lion’s Clubs and the like – never as much as I’d like to.
People recognize that some other people are blind, but often don’t really *see* them. Many either think that it’s a huge stumbling block to their lives, or they don’t give it much thought at all – what kind of roadblocks they encounter. Many don’t know what kinds of little accommodations they can do for people who are blind. So here, today, I’d like to share some advice so we can all be better friends and allies:
- Share watching resources. My friends who are blind have told me that audio description of live theater, movies, and television opens up a whole world for them. For example, one performance of each play at Yale Rep is described live; a person who is visually impaired can get a receiver with an ear bud, and listen to the description of what is happening on the stage. Service dogs are welcome, and I think they have a special price for drivers. Before that, they couldn’t go to a play unless someone was telling them what was going on, and people around them would get testy. But this way, they know what is happening on stage – it helps them with jokes, body language. There is also a talk before the play to talk with some of the actors, touch some of the key props. Same with descriptive audio for movies, so they don’t have to have a friend sitting next to them describing everything.
- Share reading resources. The National Library Service at the Library of Congress is a free braille and talking book library service for people who cannot read or hold the printed material. This is different from traditional audio books in that they’re more accessible: they’re free, a person does not have to travel to the library to access it, and they’re programmed to interact with braille reader systems.
- Share radio and news resources. In Connecticut, CRIS Radio (Connecticut Radio Information System) has programming in English and Spanish, for adults and kids, and includes volunteers who read the newspaper on the radio. You used to need a special receiver, but now you can listen to it online.
- Help someone cross the street. Always ask. Be prepared to hear no, and don’t let that stop you from asking the next person. I made a huge mistake once, walking with someone who had a guide dog. It was at one of the big intersections in New Haven, where all the walk signs are on at the same time. I started walking diagonally, and he said ‘no, don’t do that, it will confuse my dog.’ Because the dog is trained to cross one street at a time. If you want to do more, there is training on how to offer your services as a sighted guide.
- Respect service dogs. Always ask permission to pet a service dog. And normally you’ll hear no, because they’re working, they’re not pets. They have a job to do.
- Count out American money. I went to a store the other day with someone who is blind. After he bought something, the person behind the counter counted his change: “here’s three 1’s and a 5.” I asked her how she knew to do that, and she told me that she had a regular customer who is blind who trained her. In Canada, paper money has braille on it. Euros are different sizes. Unfortunately, American money is all the same size and feel.
- Go out to dinner and consider the rituals. When I go to dinner with someone who is blind, I ask if they want me to read the menu, and if they want me to give them the prices or not. Sometimes wait staff will just hand everyone a menu. My friend Carol loved to go to Cracker Barrel, because they always have a braille menu; she could read it herself and decide what she wanted to eat. If the wait staff looks at the sighted person for ordering, they should not speak for a person who is blind. When this happens to me, I’ll say, “Howard, what do you want?” and he orders for himself.
- Ask if someone wants a ride. Transportation is expensive, and is very hard for people who are blind – it’s probably one of the most difficult hurdles to get over. Some people have a large circle of friends and don’t mind asking any of them for a ride when they need it. Others are more insular, and maybe take the bus. One friend of mine goes into town by bus once a week – he goes to the bank, then a restaurant, then takes the bus back home. And that’s about it. He very seldom asks anyone, including me, for a ride, unless it’s something very important and far away. They can call for a cab, but that’s expensive. Uber and Lyft are both very visual, you need a particular kind of phone to call them. Go Go Grandparent is more accessible, but adds additional expense. If you offer someone a ride, let them know you mean it.
- Bring humility and a sense of humor. Sometimes we say things out of habit that we might regret later – phrases like “It’s great to see you,” or “you look great today.” A volunteer who normally came in once a week came in a second time, and someone in the office who was blind said “I can’t believe I’m seeing you twice in one week.” He replied (with his wry sense of humor), “I can’t believe you’re seeing me at all.” It’s ok to ask, inquire, apologize if needed, learn and grow.
- Be sensitive to intersections of “disabilities.” One of my friends likes to walk alone to get his hair cut. Another asks me to accompany him. The second also has hearing loss, so crossing the street is a much greater risk. The federal government is requiring that electric cars add noise by this time next year, to increase safety. Guide dogs for the blind are given special classes now so they disobey if they see a car coming and their owner thinks they should be able to cross. The dog won’t let them cross, because they can see the car. Same with the street, curb cuts. Those were added for wheelchair accessibility, and made it hard for blind people to navigate the intersection – so the bump dots were added.
- Honor different forms of communication. Don’t assume someone isn’t listening just because they’re not looking at you. If a friend who is blind makes a bad joke, or says a bad pun, they can’t see me rolling my eyes. So I’ve learned to communicate my response verbally – I’ll groan, or otherwise verbalize my reaction. When I put the purple in my hair, I told them. Now, they might not know what purple looks like, but I wanted them to know when we’re out in the world, they might hear comments about it.
- Respect uniqueness. Just like everyone who is sighted, there are just as many individual differences between people who are blind. Some of my friends who are blind are more mainstream than others. Some parents learn braille, others don’t. Some live independently early on, others don’t. For one of my friends who’s been blind her whole life, purple is her favorite color.
- Know that the sky is the limit. I once met a blind psychiatrist; he had to go through medical school to practice psychiatry. That meant he had to have a partner doing anatomy and physiology, he had to get the books that we record that describe all the visual material. I knew a blind lawyer, an assistant district attorney, who rode horseback and downhill skied. I know several people who are blind who downhill ski. With a headset, someone tells them when to turn, or to ‘watch out for that tree.’ Someone else who’s been blind his whole life, is a drummer who traveled all over the United States drumming, now retired and makes wooden bowls. My friend Peter wanted to go to Space Camp and did it all on his own; he was at the very first one. He got on a plane to Alabama, found transportation to Huntsville, and spent a week going through what astronauts go through. It’s one of the highlights of his life. People who say, “poor blind person” – no, not really.
- Respect superpowers. People who are blind do not judge those around them in the ways the rest of us do. People who are blind do not see skin color, for example. All they know is what they learn from what others say and do. It’s such a non-judgmental way to live, I wish we could all be like that.
To get in touch directly with Anne: momforch@yahoo.com